Life lessons

This week has, quite simply, been a ridiculous roller coaster. Awesome stuff. Lousy stuff. Life-changing stuff. But, if you add it all up, I'm still well ahead in the pro column!

The most interesting part about this week though, has come from the many and varied conversations with friends and family, and how I've managed my reactions through the ups and downs.

As I muddled through decisions, panic, and celebrations, for the first time I realized that I'm starting to make progress on actually figuring things out on my own.

Well, more importantly, not on my own. Rather, I've learned to rely on a network of friends - and a flurry of text messages - for the first time in my life, instead of hobbiting, panicking and feeling overwhelmed.

You see, when my marriage ended, I didn't know how to be single. And I felt very, very much alone. When things were bad, I didn't have the courage to seek help or reach out. I just kept soldiering on, in absolute misery.

But I also didn't know how to be in a couple - that ship had sailed a long time ago. Even when things were broken, I was still part of a twosome. I used "we" language. I bought groceries for two.

Basically, my life experience has prepared me to be an excellent roommate (I make a mean pancake and mimosa brunch. And I'm tidy too!). A friend that can be counted on - even more so now than this time last year. And a little bit of a headcase when it comes to flying completely solo - those moments when you can't open a jar are frustrating beyond belief - or, gasp, when I consider the prospect of being coupled up someday. Relationships - at least the idea of ones that could work - feel like a foreign land.

The good news is that this week showed me that I've made progress in making my new life, and my new world order, work. That no one, single or coupled, should feel so alone, and that everyone needs friends - plural - that they can turn to when they gotten that phone call that they've been waiting months for or who can distract, and send virtual hugs when other news is just too much.

The training wheels may still be on in this whole functional adult thing, but finally, I think, I'm learning.